In June of 1985 Philip went to his doctor. After feeling unwell and
lacking energy for several months, and having been brushed aside on two
previous occasions, he was finally given a blood test. Within the week
he was in hospital receiving his first round of chemotherapy for Acute
Myeloid Leukaemia. It was a profound shock for him and his family. He
described the moments after the diagnosis as his most desperate hours.
Due to the severity of the diagnosis he took early retirement from teaching;
he had found himself becoming increasingly disillusioned and fatigued
as the nature of teaching changed before him. However, despite the debilitating
illness, Philip experienced a feeling of liberation. He was able to do exactly what
he wanted and he set about working with a passion on his unfinished
ideas.
Philip had always been liked and respected. If he had ever been a man who could hold the attention of his
audience before, this became ever more so now. With candidness in his
first television interview, he offered insights into his emotional
and physical experience of his illness as he talked about the reasons behind his sculptures,
his beliefs in humanity and his faith. No one wanted to consider
the possible outcome of his condition, however Philip was open about it, keeping a powerful
but grounded optimism. The television people came back for more, recording
a total of six broadcast in his last year.
Philip fought to stay alive. In the process
of his battling against the effects of the disease
and the treatment, he visualised and, in the
following period of remission, created a sculpture
to communicate the inner battle:
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"This figure developed in my mind when I
first started chemotherapy in June 1985. The warrior fought for me whenever
I felt threatened by 'illness' which came in the form of black clouds
rushing across a deserted plain. As they neared me and the warrior,
the clouds broke up. The warrior stood on a rock. wielding his sword
with skill, and not one piece of "black gunge" passed him.
He felled everyone. |
The battle lasted several days. Initially, his
armour was bright and shone in the light. But, at the end of the battle,
his armour was dulled by the heat and the dust. He was never tired and
was always ready for the next onslaught. All the time, he stood over
me as I lay by the rock over which he strode. I could watch the battle
but did not become involved because I knew I could trust him implicitly.
So there he now stands on his rock defending the light that is me"
So he wrote on his sick bed in Torbay Hospital in the spring of 1986.
In the short remission which followed, the concept of the 'Warrior
Within' was forged in a permanent form. It was this visualisation, together
with the music of Rachmaninov,
which would give him particular comfort in the harrowing weeks ahead enduring the harsh treatment of chemotherapy.
His fight made a big impact on all around him. The nurses who became closely involved in his life at that
time, recounted to Bill Blinston that
Philip had been someone 'special', 'different'. Instead of giving comfort
to this patient, they had often found that
the roles had been reversed and that he comforted them. Throughout his
suffering he would draw upon a deep well of strength and courage, and this
would rub off on those around him. A man who was gained his
acquaintance at the time, told Philip's wife that he had met him only
once 'but you wanted to be his friend'.
Philip died at 2.40 am, July 8th 1986 at his home in Devon, in the arms of his wife and surrounded
by the people he loved; he was buried on his 47th birthday. |